Forgiving yourself and making the time to pursue your passions are just some ways to boost your self-image. By Belle Yambao
Before you can build strong relationships with others, it’s important that you know how to love yourself first. It can be hard to hold onto your self-identity when you feel like everyone around you is trying to bring you down, but it can get even worse when you yourself start thinking that you’ll never be good enough. Learning to love yourself isn’t just an action--it’s a mindset. And in order to make it happen, you have to constantly work on it. Below are 10 ways to improve your self-image.
1. REMIND YOURSELF OF YOUR GOOD POINTS EVERY TIME YOU START TO FEEL DOWN. - Praising yourself doesn’t automatically mean you’re being arrogant. When you’ve done something brilliant, acknowledge your contribution and pat yourself on the back for a job well done. It’s all right to admit your strong points and celebrate them, especially during those times when you’re having a bout of self-doubt.
Besides being an instant mood booster, this also helps you strengthen your belief in yourself long term. Eventually, you will get to that point when you’ll be able to brush off unfounded criticism because you know you’re better than what people may make you out to be.
2. KEEP YOUR PROMISES TO YOURSELF. - Find the lines you won’t cross, and don’t allow yourself to compromise on these. That is, once you set boundaries for yourself, adhere to them, because doing otherwise would be unfair to you, and perhaps others as well.
For example, if you've decided that, in your heart, you could never forgive a guy who cheats on you and subsequently decided that if ever your man did, you'd leave him, follow through if he does. By allowing yourself to forgive and forget when you specifically promised yourself that was your limit, you’re only cheating yourself and dragging out a relationship that may be tainted by your resentment. Recognize when something isn’t right, and make decisions that are good for you. In the end, you're the only one who can take charge of your own emotional welfare.
3. ALWAYS TAKE SOME TIME OUT FOR YOURSELF TO DO SOMETHING YOU LOVE. - No matter how busy you are, make sure to schedule a time to indulge in the things you love doing. During these periods, don’t think about your problems at work or how difficult it is to balance your monthly household budget.
Instead, focus on yourself, on your wants and needs, and on enjoying what you're doing. Now’s the time to pay attention to your passions and express yourself. If you’ve always wanted to be a dancer, take a class. If your hobby is painting, bring out a canvas and watercolors. By giving yourself the freedom to just be, you’re acknowledging that you’re proud of who you are and also giving yourself space to relax and enjoy.
4. LEARN TO ACCEPT COMPLIMENTS. - When someone praises you, acknowledge the compliment. Avoid downplaying your role in a project or saying, “It was nothing,” especially when you know what your colleague or friend is saying is true. While humility is a great trait to have, you can be modest without looking down on yourself.
If you’re uncomfortable with praise or feel like you’re being egotistical by recognizing the compliment, just practice saying a simple thank you. You can also make it a point to pay it forward and acknowledge anyone else who might have done a good job as well or who helped you achieve whatever you're being praised for.
5. FORGIVE YOURSELF. - It’s already hard enough dealing with other people’s criticism, but if you also berate yourself for every mistake you commit, then you’re going to have a hard time picking yourself up afterward.
Sometimes, you might even find yourself turning a small mistake into something major in your head. When that happens, you become your own worst critic, and you’ll keep looking back, regretting your mistake, and thinking of what you should have done instead. At times like these, remind yourself that nobody's perfect and that just because you've had poor judgment once or twice (or even a few times), it doesn’t mean you’ll be wrong for the rest of your life--or that you should continue to punish yourself for it. Learn from the experience, and move on.
6. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU. - Stay away from naysayers because they’ll only make you feel bad about yourself. After prolonged exposure to them, you might even start believing them too. Instead, surround yourself with positive thinkers, people who can encourage you and make you see how wonderful you already are. This doesn’t mean you should just be friends with people who only talk about your good points. Your real friends will know how to give good criticism too, so listen only to the people you trust.
7. LIVE IN THE MOMENT. - If you worry too much about the future and what other people think, you’ll find yourself missing out on opportunities to make yourself happy. While thinking about the consequences of your actions is all well and good, being too cautious also hinders your self-growth.
Take risks, and embrace the present. You could be wallowing in self-pity because you hate your job, but you’re afraid to quit out of fear that you won’t find another. You might want to study abroad, but you aren't really proactive about finding a scholarship or about saving up for it. You can only make things happen for you if you take the steps yourself. Don’t compromise your happiness because you’re afraid to try.
8. HAVE A POSITIVE MINDSET. - No matter how many times you try to convince yourself that you’re worthy of being loved, it won’t work if you don’t believe in yourself first. Practice confidence-boosting exercises regularly.
Not sure where to start? Here are some things you can do: List one thing you love about yourself on a note every day and stick it somewhere you can see it, like on a corner of your computer screen or in your wallet. In fact, why not buy a glass-writing pen and scrawl your "happy me" thought onto your mirror as part of your morning ritual? Stand in front of the mirror in your favorite outfit, and tell yourself your jeans make your thighs look amazing. Little things like these will eventually contribute to a better self-image as time passes by.
9. SEEK YOUR OWN APPROVAL. - You don’t need to actively seek acknowledgment from other people to make you feel good about yourself. What matters is that you believe that what you’re doing is good for you.
This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t recognize it when someone you love supports your decisions. It just means that you should let approval come to you naturally and not worry yourself over whether or not you should do something based on someone else’s opinions. For example, if you’re set on changing careers, but you feel like your parents won’t approve, look at the bigger picture and weigh the feelings behind your desire and anything that opposes it. Do you want to make the change because the new career is something you're passionate about? Are your parents disapproving just because they're worried it'll make it harder for you to secure your lifestyle?
10. EMBRACE YOUR FLAWS. - Accepting yourself for who you are is the first step to loving yourself. Your quirks make you who you are, and once you acknowledge them, you’ll see that they make you beautiful too.
Perhaps you have problems accepting yourself because you didn’t like the person you were in the past. Take a trip down memory lane—even if it hurts—and look at your mistakes from a different angle. Ask yourself: if they didn’t happen, would you be the better person that you are now? Have you learned from your mistakes? Are you already taking steps to make yourself a better person with a bigger heart? Remember to embrace the things that make you who you are (even the negative ones)--but don't wallow in them! Make your weaknesses reasons to be and do better, not reasons to give up on things.
http://www.femalenetwork.com/health-wellness/positivity-self-esteem/all-about-you-10-ways-to-love-yourself
