... one of those rainy days....

Here I go again... feeling depressed, alone and lost. I feel like crying as of the moment and can't really figure out why.

I feel like I am a big disappointment, I am not sure why... I just feel it.
I feel like I can't cope anymore with the demands in my life, to be a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a peer a friend. I felt like I've been doing a world of my own in the past years, a place where only me can describe or can understand. I'm not sort of getting insane..yet but I feel like more years of these feelings and I'm headed there. I need someone to help me cope up with this, I can't rely on him, he'll not understand me, he'll just blame me for everything. It was all my fault for him, my choice. For what? I don't know... the thing is, for all the mistakes/happenings in our life it was all my decisions. But reality? I have no choice, I had to make decisions... alone... because he doesn't want to take responsibility of our life. and for that, if a decision is wrong.. I should be taking all the blame, all the consequences and I hate it. I felt so alone in this life...

Lord, please grant me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change and courage to change those things that I can... Please help me hold on onto hope that things will fall into its proper places at the right time...